With advent of Cataclysm and the arrival of Goblins, I decided it was time to get some gnome vs goblin rivalry underway.
Attention All Goblins! Operation:Buzzkill is underway
Greetings Goblins of the Bilgewater Cartel,
I hope you all had a pleasant winters veil, if indeed you celebrate such things. I’m afraid I have a rather pressing issue to raise with you.
I had meant to bring it up sooner but out of sympathy for the loss of your home (we gnomes know all about that sort of thing), and it being winters veil we considered it only polite to allow you some more time to recover with your new friends in the Horde, after all it must be jolly nice for them to finally have some normal sized people around.
However I’m afraid we can wait no longer, as it is we’ve waited over a decade to catch up with you concerning this matter and Gnomish justice cannot be held in abeyance forever. The matter in question I’m afraid concerns payment for your past crimes and the return of stolen property.
“Yo! What past crimes, sweetcakes?” you are no doubt saying in that amusing manner with with you speak. Well with all fairness I’m afraid it’s a little late to play dumb my green friends, you know what you did as well as I do and believe me you’re going to pay for it!
Hmmm, you’re still feigning ignorance are you? Well allow me to refresh your memory. I present as evidence of your misdeeds this cutting from the Tinker Times from many years past.
Have you read it yet? I do hope you can read, I have heard that education isn’t one of your strong suits. I know, why not let me fill you in on the salient points. I’m Grimmspanner Brassbolts of the Gnomish Rescue Squad, researcher in the area of lost and stolen gnomish technology or what you may have been mislead into calling Goblin Engineering. Why this particular preoccupation you may ask? Well my Great Uncle was Professor Buzzkill Brassbolts, which as you’d know if you could read, is the genius from which your cartel misappropriated most of your engineering know-how, before running back to your island home.
Well now you’re back out in the open I’m afraid we have no option but to pursue you to the full extent of gnomish law. My apologies in advance if some of our gnomes maybe be over zealous in the application of the law but you’ll understand that stealing schematics is a touchy subject at the best of times, and with over decade to stew on this issue we have some rather irate engineers on our hands.
So I have to inform you on behalf of Gnomeregan yard that from this day forth we will be commencing Operation Buzzkill, an attempt to recover and restore the rightful property of Gnomregan University’s School of Exothermic Gizmotronics and Explosive Gadgetology.
To achieve this goal we, under the guidance of Gnomeregan Air Command, will be forming Schematic Recovery Aerial Patrols (S.C.R.A.P). These S.C.R.A.P teams will be mounting aerial raids on all areas known to harbour the Bilgewater Cartel no matter how deep within Horde territory they may be. They will be questioning and searching all members of the Bilgewater Cartel and those they associate with for stolen schematics. Should we encounter a lack of cooperation we will have no hesitation in responding with all necessary force, so please lets not make a fuss shall we?
Oh before any of you begin to work under the misapprehension that you are exempt from this investigation as you’ve joined another Horde gang or claim to be in one of the many new bilgewater splinter groups like the Strezkov Cartel or the Iron Vulture, let it be known that Gnomish Law will be making no such distinction.
So once again my apologies for bringing this news to you so soon after the festive season, I’m sure we can resolve this in an amicable manner as soon as you cooperate with our schematic recovery agents in the field.
P.S Any Gnomes reading please put up the following posters in your neighbourhoods and workshops